Up the Mountain with our Lord

Coming with a weary heart to care group on Friday, I sought to put aside everything to come into God’s presence.

During worship, I really threw aside everything, and sought Him with all my heart. Many questions that I had, and doubts and troubles, were cast aside for me to walk lightly to seek His presence.

It was not just amazing, but AMAZINGLY amazing. As the worship songs were sung and played, I was taken to a wonderful paradise where all around me was the peace and goodness surrounding Him. Being in His presence, I naturally was absorbed into that peace and joy.

I was actually having certain problems that had bugged me throughout the week, and right in His presence, they were all taken away from me.

I once told my sisters during Bible discussion, “I want to see an Angel. I wish I could see God.”

And they told me, “Are you sure? I don’t want. Because I will be freaked out.”

They told me about how strong God’s glory could be that just a slight brush across the glory could send us great impacts and ‘bounces’ us off.

But I still sought God’s presence with all my heart and my soul. During worship, in that paradise-like place, I felt so happy, so peaceful, and so calm... and most importantly, I felt Jesus’ love for me. The place was so good, and I was just enjoying that moment with Jesus. And all I did was cry... for all I felt was His love. This experience made me understand how much He loves me, despite me being a sinner, He still brought me up that 'mountain'. And I also learnt how God's presence could really be so strong, to cause such an emotional effect instantly... tears of joy.. tears of being touched by His LOVE.

And all of the sudden the song was ending, and Jesus was telling me, “It’s time to go, my dear child.”

And I knew I didn’t want to go. I wanted to remain there, to remain forever in His presence, to remain with Him, so I didn’t have to face all the other things in the world.

But as I wished for it, I heard Him telling me, “No. My child, it’s not the time yet.”

I cried. But then He reminded me of the verses in Matthew 17:4 and Luke 9:33 about “The Transfiguration”. Being up there on the mountain with Jesus is the best thing we can enjoy and I didn’t want to come down that ‘mountain’.

However, Jesus said, it was time to go. My reluctance to leave that unexplained happiness brought me to understand His words. It felt like God was telling me, “It’s not time yet, because there are still many other purposes you have yet to fulfill. Go, it’s time.”

But I didn’t want to go. I asked Him, “Lord, if I go, I can’t experience this joy. My faith starts to waver again. I don’t want to..”

But he just said, “Go.. there are many others waiting for you. Go do my will.”

I cried even more. Knowing what He meant and not wanting to obey Him. I wanted to share this with care group after worship, but because I didn’t know what it meant, I decided not to. But till now, I still really miss that feeling and want to go back up the mountain... but at the same time, not wanting to disobey Him.

I really want to say to you all... To seek God’s presence with all your heart. Yearn for Him and lean on Him. He will see your heart and bless you and guide you. I have learnt to put my faith and lean on Him... and my life has changed heaps.

But... I really wish the time up that mountain was longer. Sob...

(I don’t even know if I’m making any sense... but maybe you all could interpret this for me, and let me know what God is telling me?)

But on a lighter tone... here's a cool comic I found. Haha... hope it makes you all remember that verse more! Hoho... (oops).